I was diagnosed with PKD (Polycystic Kidney Disease) at 17. In my family, it is genetic on my mom’s side. I lived my life knowing that I would have renal failure. The unknown was when. So, in my late 40’s I started peritoneal dialysis and was put on the kidney transplant list, but I knew it could take years to get a kidney. One day, while chaperoning my son on a band trip, I met the wife of my son’s scoutmaster who was also chaperoning. After a dozen questions about PKD, dialysis and transplants, we went our separate ways. Or so I thought. She contacted my husband, went through the necessary tests and spoke with a close friend who had donated his kidney to his brother. One day, she and her husband came over and very generously offered to donate a kidney to me. That was over 16 years ago and I am doing well. It is because of her generosity that I am still here today. We are still friends and see each other often. Kidney sisters forever.
That so awesome I suffer with kidney disease and have been on dialysis nut creatin is under control so no dialysis for now hope you continue to enjoy your health
I was born with a rare genetic disease called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. A disease that most doctors have to google (which is quite frustrating). The disease is a breakdown of connective tissue which is pretty much the entire body inside and out. While the world was shut down to COVID I was living a nightmare unable to eat because my stomach became paralyzed as well as my colon. I was down to 82 pounds before I got the help I needed. The first thing I got was a gastric pacemaker (yeah they make those) but that didn't fix everything, so this past September I had my colon removed and a permanent ileostomy. You would think my crazy story would end there but due to my Ehlers Danlos, my veins are super fragile and I was rushed back into emergency surgery because I was internally bleeding. I truly thought I was going to die. I was in ICU for a week. I am up to 102 pounds now and able to work out. I am SURE that God saved my life and kept me here for a purpose. This was a truly pivotal moment in my life. I think God had to break me down to use me.
WOW what a powerful story of faith and strength you have. God is not done with you, he has a plan. Keep your faith strong and continue on the road of feeling better and stronger many prayers to you.
What a powerful story of strength, determination and the grace of God. I have no doubt He has a purpose for you. Prayers for continued healing and wholeness.
I believe this is a daily question that we have to ask ourselves. It’s all about choice. We were given the gift of free will. That means we choose daily to be humbled. Once we are open, then we are able to see the Light! For me, it was many years of difficult circumstances that brought me to my knees. Realizing that the life that has been set before me was different than what I wanted/dreamed of has opened the opportunity for growth in ways I never thought possible. A verse that guides me is Psalm 91:4: “He will cover you with wings, for under his wings, you’ll find refuge.” I love the idea that we transform into a beautiful butterfly (metaphorically) from a caterpillar by going into a cocoon and being opened to a new journey. Each day I am continuing on the journey. Blessings! 🙏🦋
I had my dark night of the soul, I don't even like to talk about it. I had a terrible depression, I didn't sleep or eat anything, I would die like that!
One day I couldn't even drink water, I was desperate! That's where I had to get strength from where I thought I didn't have it and made a fundamental decision for my healing! I decided I wouldn't live like that anymore! I didn't accept that anymore in my life! I got attached to God and with a lot of faith I managed to get out of that sad situation. Today I am another person, I have a lot of appreciation for life! I'm very happy and I like to spread Love wherever I go! 🙌🏻❤️
Wow. Graham, thanks for the prompt in your newsletter that inspired the sharing of all these inspiring stories. Life certainly hands us all trials to navigate and lessons to learn and share. To all of you who have embraced those trials and kept going, may you know true appreciation for each day. I am blessed and inspired.
Wow. Read through everyone stories. That in itself will put life into perspective. Gah 😩.
Mine was 7 years ago. I was 26 years old. I always was so proud that I could handle tons of pressure and stress. I was a full time college student and working full time as a Hair Stylist. And I was getting married.
2 weeks before my wedding I had my first panic attack. Actually I had a absolute mental breakdown. It’s hard to explain that to people. They think. Oh. You had some anxiety and then it was gone? No. It was awful. Some how I made it down the aisle.
For years I was a mess. My husband should have left. Lol. But he’s so nice. He stayed. 😌. I barely got through any day. I was a shell of myself. Went to doctors for years. Never took meds. All they said was I was depressed and anxious. Which was awful! An invisible disease?
2 years ago I quit my job. I quit school. I got outside. I gardened. I touched soil. I bathed in the sun. I learned to raise chickens. And I just let God Strip me down to nothing.
Not one panic attack since. Not one anxious moment.
I’m thankful for the experience as much as I went to hell and back.
I found your story enlightening. Unfortunately, I still suffer from depression & extreme anxiety at times. Unless you go through it, it really hard for people to understand. Like you said, the invisible disease. If they see you happy & doing well, they think 'she's OK now' or 'just get over it'. They don't understand that it's not that easy to overcome.
I'm so happy that you have been able to conquer your anxiety.
Christine. My heart goes out to you literally. I still to this day pray for people with anxiety and depression everyday. I wish I had some great advice. However it’s not a one size fits all. I’m a really stubborn go getter person. I really loved to control my life. I saw and talked with so many doctors during that 5 year period. Two things two separate people told me.
1.) everything helps. Healing generally isn’t a one size cure. It’s an accumulation of foundational steps.
2.) sit in a quiet room. Close your eyes. And ask. Why is this here? Ask the anxiety.
For me that was control. I’d always here. LET GO!!!!
For me. The cure was in letting go of the last thing I wanted to. My career. I worked my butt off to be a hairstylist. 1600 California hours with all those girls. I paid for it. I reached out and I grabbed it. And I was good at it. I was the best. Everyone wanted me to do their hair. But it was a toxic environment.
I understand you Christine as I still suffer as well. One day you are happy and the next you just can’t cope . You know you can reach out to me anytime,I’m here for you ❤️
Christine you are so right I’ve always said I would’ t wish this on my worst enemy Ive had depression and my own family did understand it. I’m praying that you can get past your depression & anxiety one day soon🙏🏻
Stephanie, I understand totally how panic attacks can destroy your life. I had my first panic attack at 25, while my 2 year old daughter I were in line at McDonald’s. It came out of nowhere and it was downhill from there. I was housebound for years. Every time I tried to leave my apartment, panic attacks forced me back home. Panic made me a prisoner in my own home. Unfortunately for me, it ended my marriage. I am better now, but occasionally panic sneaks in. Talking to Lynette Elinda has help me a lot. Looking back, I know it made me a stronger person. I’m happy to hear that you no longer have anxious moments.
Wow. I’m so sorry to hear that. Panic and anxiety is something that’s not talked about enough. I wished I could have found a support group for it. Like AA HAS. Shoot maybe I should start one. I needed to talk about it with people who got it. I know what you mean about being a prisoner of your home. That could have been me. It was at times. But I decided I was going to always do the opposite of what I felt like doing. I’d say. Nooope. This anxiety is out of control but this is my body. I will just panic as I grocery shop. I cried for 2 hours on a flight to New York. They should have kicked me off. I told the pilot and crew when I got on. I’m struggling with severe panic and anxiety. If you see me crying you know why. They were so great about it. As soon as I accepted that it was there but I was going to live my life anyway. That’s when it started to leave.
I’m sorry to hear of your divorce. We live in this broken world where people make vows and really just mean. For better. My husband was really inspiring. He was harsh at times. But also comforting. He saw how hard I was trying.
He’d say. Are you gonna be able to do this flight? Oh I’m freaking out inside. But I’m getting on that plane damnit. I’m gonna stomp around New York and see everything.
I will say. I don’t have kids. I don’t think we can have kids? Who knows. I can not imagine having to go through that with a child. Gah 😩
I feel your pain Stephanie after my husband died I was alone and it hit me anxiety depression panic attacks loneliness I was in constant stress mode from my job being alone trying to face another day and it went on for years until a couple of years ago I quite my job and started gardening as well so therapeutic started doing things I love and taking care of me and putting all my faith and trust in god I’m not going to say they completely went away but I’m doing must better and Graham has taught me how to breath❤️
Great job. I experienced similar. Have cycled thru " burn out" after " burnout". You communicated the "shell " state so well. Nature helps me as well. Glad for you. Keep going.
Thank you Sue! Burnout is the perfect word. I think we forget that we are animals. It’s essential to connect with nature. And God. Thanks for the encouragement. I thought I would panic during Covid. But I didn’t. Not once. I’d already been to hell and back. I wasn’t going there again.
My daughter suffers from severe anxiety and depression. She was a student at Bible Baptist college and I got the call no parent ever wants to hear….your daughter is in ICU because she attempted to take her own life. She had taken 300 Benadryl and left a suicide letter. Thankfully her roommate took quick action. I never knew my daughter was depressed. She put on a very good front…always smiling and laughing. I did notice some anxiety begin in high school but I thought it was just normal jitters. I am telling you this because depression and anxiety is a very real yet not taken seriously enough but from a mother let me say that there is nothing more heart wrenching than seeing your daughter hooked to a thousand tubes to save her life that she chose to take. I don’t know yours or anyone else’s family story but I spent most of my daughters life as a single mom, I met my husband when she was 14. My daughter and I are best friends….we always have been. Losing her would have taken a huge part of me. So please if you or anyone else ever gets to this point it’s not worth it. If my daughter would have succeeded I would have not only felt extreme pain forever but I also would have felt so much anger because I was super angry at her. I know that sounds mean and selfish but it was seriously a real emotion I felt because I gave her life when I was just a teenager and I fought SO hard to finish school, put myself through college and gave her an amazing life. We were best friends…we told each other everything…so I thought. But she had a painful secret of sexual abuse by an ex of mine that she never told me until she was in the mental hospital after she attempted to take her life. I failed her. I was supposed to protect her and I failed. Oh the pain of it all….for her. Today she is alive and doing well. If I go a day without getting a response from her I panic. It’s been 6 years but it feels like it was yesterday. I am actually crying writing this. Please get help if you fall into depression or anxiety. From a momma….get help!
Super inspiring. My daughter suffers with extreme anxiety. I will share your story with her as I worry about her a lot. It's amazing when God breaks you, huh?
Lynette! I’m originally from Goddard Kansas. Small word. Now I live in California. Yea it is amazing when God breaks you. I felt like Job from the Bible. I wasn’t as strong as him though. I was very angry with God. I had big plans for my life. He just had something else in mind for me. If your daughter needs someone to talk to my email is tayloredgrowth@yahoo.com
A few things were pivotal points for me, the most difficult was losing a child at a young age. It was very painful, but through that experience I learned compassion and my faith was strengthened as I navigated the grief. It taught me to appreciate every moment as if it were my last. I try to remember to count my blessings every day.
A few years ago I came to realise that when I was 18 months old and in hospital for 3 months 100 miles from my family (70+ years ago parents couldn't stay) I shut down all of my emotions. Over the years I have lived my life on what would be a straight line with or peaks. I have been unable to grieve fir loved ones lost - father, sister (committed suicide, I watched the news report and they gave her name so that is how I found out ) mother grandson as well as others and situations in my life. I gave my life to the Lord in my 30's and although I love him as best I can and H has bought much change in my life Instill Struggle accepting that He loves me unconditionally. Recently batter being diagnosed with cancer I had a real peace about it and knew right from the start what to do. As far as the surgery went. That peace has stayed with me and I know that it is the peace of God which passes understanding. I must also say that Graham has also been a huge inspiration in my life.
Your story shows how God’s love can open our hearts to feel and embrace all that life brings our way. You inspire me all the time. I feel so blessed to be your friend and have your wisdom in my life.
As I read through everyone’s life challenges, I realize there is one common denominator that helped them through- God. When I was 12, I came home to find my 35 year old mother had collapsed and gone into a coma. While I was out sleigh riding, my mom had suffered from a massive brain aneurysm. There was a blinding snowstorm and the ambulance was having a hard time getting to our house. I knew with every second that passed, my mothers chance of survival was diminishing. After her surgery, the surgeon said her chances of living was slim and if she did pull through she would be in a vegetative state. I said the rosary over and over praying for my mom’s recovery. To make a long story short she made a full recovery and was written into the medical journal. The surgeon said it was a true miracle. Thank you Jesus for answering my prayers and giving me my mom back those many years ago.
Back in December 2020, the one year anniversary of my divorce and 6 months after I left a job I hated. I had the things I wanted: to be free from Chris and to be a stay at home Mom, but I wasn’t happy. I was sad and sinking towards depression because I still didn’t feel worthy. I decided if I didn’t feel worthy, I would make myself into the person I thought WAS worthy. And I’ve been working since. God has moved mountains and put me exactly where He wants me. It’s been an amazing journey!
I lost my mum when I was 17 - I felt bereft and lost but couldnt grieve properly for many years - I had many addictions during that time until finally I had a nervous breakdown. It was the beginning of a journey of self discovery...many years ago now.....and just when I begin to think it''s almost done another wave hits!!! I realised last year that I'd spent most of my life caring for others....now I'm developing a healthy self love and finally facing my inner demon's.
It was so calm...quietly peaceful....like that place I was in Iceland once where nothing could be heard at all. I was surrendering myself to whatever it was that was happening to me. I was halfway down that gray tunnel and I knew the light ahead was where I wanted to be. I was following four shadowy people holding hands in front of me. Yes. I wanted to follow but then there was a distant scream. What was that? Was that me? I was awake. The quiet was gone but I wasn't afraid. I was alive.
This was my pivot. My time to move forward. Maybe sometimes I would take a glance back to see those hard days, those sad days, those heartbreaking days once in awhile just to remind me that life is so amazingly better on this new path. How would I have known how beautiful if I hadn't traveled from the path behind me? When I was back there I had glimpses of beauty so I knew it existed. It just never seemed to hang around for very long. Life has a way of showing you the bad so you can really, really know when you've found the good.
Now I experience the day to day wonders of life through these same old eyes with brighter lenses. Joy is in the smallest of gestures, sights and sounds. It is the twinkle of my granddaughter's eye as she performs her dance or the subtle nod of appreciation from my tweeny grandson as I pull up my chair to the fence surrounding the baseball field.
I feel gratitude and appreciation for all that I have. I didn't go into the light when I had the chance because God wanted me to be light and love right here where my feet touch the ground. So that's what I'm going to do from now on.
I agree with those words … is up to you. I was once married for 14 years that was mentally abused and was told that I was nothing, would never amount to anything, never make anything of myself, fat and everything else you could think of. I do have two children that I wouldn’t give up anything from that but it took a lot to come back from after 20 years and therapy I had to finally say it is up to me to do something last year that I had to take my life back and do something to be able to move on and believe in myself again. I have been through a great deal Including my health issues but reading your stories have made me believe that I can live again and I am believing again and I know that God has plans for me. Thank you Graham. ❤️
It was 16 years ago when my husband of 33 years suddenly passed away. We had just returned from our 6 week summer vacation when he had a heart attack while sleeping and was gone. It took me about 2 years before I began to feel I was going to be ok. In those two years I had recurring dreams that he wasn’t really gone, that it was all a dream. Also felt at times that I didn’t want to go on with my life, then one of my kids would unexpectedly call as if someone was saying call your mom. Those calls helped me start appreciating life, cherish the many memories of our life together and look forward to making more memories with our kids. Now I start each day journaling 3 things I appreciate and end each day grateful for the blessings of the day. A couple of weeks ago, my 15 year old grandson reminded me in a conversation “ Grammie always look for the positive”. That made me even more appreciative of life and the many blessings that happen each day.
To all you beautiful, wonderful ladies, I have read everyone of your stories tonight and I have been inspired by all . I APPLAUD each one of you. You all did such a great job overcoming the challenge presented to you. Hard work and perseverance brought success and happiness back to your lives. How wonderful is that?? All of your stories tonight made me realize and appreciate how blessed by God I am. My story could never compare. The most tragic event in my life was losing my Father when I was only 13yrs old and my sister was 12yr. My mother lost her husband and us young girls had to be there for her. We did not have a lot of money and we struggled for many years but we survived. I have been so inspired tonight and I pray that all of you continue on your journey to good health and I wish you the best of what life has to offer. As Graham always says "CHEERS" THANK YOU ALL FOR SHARING!!!!!!
I have a similar but different childhood. I was born an identical twin, however my twin did not survive childbirth. We believe that sent my already psychologically sick mother into deeper depths. When I was 5 my father picked me up for visitation and discovered bruises all over me and he was in the military so he had been gone for 6 months and it was obvious I was super malnourished. My dad filed charges and he gained full sole custody of me. My dad gave up his military career to take care of me. My dad was a ex-Marine and super unemotional. I grew up thinking crying made you weak. I had a strict and structured upbringing. My dad is amazing don’t take me wrong but I never grew up with a mother. She was in and out of psych wards. It has caused me to fear being abandoned and I had a hard time feeling “good enough” for a relationship with a man. I ended up having two kids unmarried and I literally purposefully caused the fathers to walk away. Then I met my husband of now 10 years. He was…a career military man and that gave me that structure and he was a military officer so he’s not “all emotional” either. That’s what I had to have was someone that was strong and not sensitive because I am very strong willed. He also is a devout Christian and brought me to the Lord. It’s amazing how childhood dysfunction doesn’t have to define you. Blessings to you and if your momma is still alive give her a great big hug and tell her thank you for all she did. I am in the airport right now flying back to Kansas from Kentucky (my home state) and it’s always so hard to leave the man that saved me from abuse and raised a little girl all by himself. 🥰❤️
Lynette, thanks for sharing your story. So emotional to read made me feel sad. I am so grateful that you survived all that abuse. How lucky you were to find a husband that is taking such good care of you now and helped you find your way back to the Lord, and I am sure that your children have been a blessing from God. I applaud your father for a job well done. I would love to give my Mom a big hug for you but she is gone now but she lived long enough to see me and my sister marry great husbands and give her some grandchildren . Ok so I am crying now , your story has touched my heart and brough back some memories.
I am so glad that I found Graham through Heartland . I think that this will be a nice platform for all of us to join in and share.Thank you Graham!!! I have never done a cameo so I have never had a chance to talk to Graham. Have communicated through IG messages a couple of times. I just love him without really knowing him he is so talented and inspiring. Love all his work.
Thanks again Lynette for sharing .Hope you had a safe triip home.
Life long friend and family conflicts revealed "caregiver" role in which I have hidden. Result, one- sided relationships and no true connection. This is gift of revelation. Now, moving forward. Looking forward to authentic, rewarding interactions and relationships. God is always my center. Time to be unafraid to share my authentic self w grace.
I was diagnosed with PKD (Polycystic Kidney Disease) at 17. In my family, it is genetic on my mom’s side. I lived my life knowing that I would have renal failure. The unknown was when. So, in my late 40’s I started peritoneal dialysis and was put on the kidney transplant list, but I knew it could take years to get a kidney. One day, while chaperoning my son on a band trip, I met the wife of my son’s scoutmaster who was also chaperoning. After a dozen questions about PKD, dialysis and transplants, we went our separate ways. Or so I thought. She contacted my husband, went through the necessary tests and spoke with a close friend who had donated his kidney to his brother. One day, she and her husband came over and very generously offered to donate a kidney to me. That was over 16 years ago and I am doing well. It is because of her generosity that I am still here today. We are still friends and see each other often. Kidney sisters forever.
Wow wow. Wow. What a amazing story. I believe that are angels among us.
What an amazing story. People like your friend are gifts from God.
What a beautiful gift of life you were giving much love and hugs
Thats so wonderful..what a gift❤🙏
That so awesome I suffer with kidney disease and have been on dialysis nut creatin is under control so no dialysis for now hope you continue to enjoy your health
Such a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing and so thankful for your kidney sister.
I was born with a rare genetic disease called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. A disease that most doctors have to google (which is quite frustrating). The disease is a breakdown of connective tissue which is pretty much the entire body inside and out. While the world was shut down to COVID I was living a nightmare unable to eat because my stomach became paralyzed as well as my colon. I was down to 82 pounds before I got the help I needed. The first thing I got was a gastric pacemaker (yeah they make those) but that didn't fix everything, so this past September I had my colon removed and a permanent ileostomy. You would think my crazy story would end there but due to my Ehlers Danlos, my veins are super fragile and I was rushed back into emergency surgery because I was internally bleeding. I truly thought I was going to die. I was in ICU for a week. I am up to 102 pounds now and able to work out. I am SURE that God saved my life and kept me here for a purpose. This was a truly pivotal moment in my life. I think God had to break me down to use me.
Wow. This is beautiful Lynette. I am inspired by your story. Continued Blessings to you and thank you for sharing this.
WOW what a powerful story of faith and strength you have. God is not done with you, he has a plan. Keep your faith strong and continue on the road of feeling better and stronger many prayers to you.
Lynette I believe that you will be used by God in an awesome way because you are open to it. I pray fir continued healing for you.
Awe thank you! It’s been a journey but I have faith it has been well worth it.
Lynette, I want to comment about how I’m in awe of your faith and strength, but I can’t find the right words so I’ll leave it at💚💚❤️❤️
It’s all God ❤️
What a powerful story of strength, determination and the grace of God. I have no doubt He has a purpose for you. Prayers for continued healing and wholeness.
I am praying for you!!! The Lord will take care if you!!!
Lynette, I am sorry you have had to go through so much. You are an inspiration to us all. I pray that you continue to improve. 🙏💖
Lynette: You are a woman of faith...!!! God bless you always.
Oh wow what an inspiring and powerful story. I will be praying for continued healing for you ,keep your faith and stay strong 💪❤️
Reading your post very inspiring . I have been truly bless. Praying for you.
Lynette I admire your emotional strength and your faith in god knowing he has a plan for you god bless🙏❤️
Lynette,
Thank you for sharing.
Yes, He does have you here for a purpose. Part of that is encouraging others through sharing your story.
May He continue to strengthen your body and your veins. Trusting you can experience beauty and glory every day!
I believe this is a daily question that we have to ask ourselves. It’s all about choice. We were given the gift of free will. That means we choose daily to be humbled. Once we are open, then we are able to see the Light! For me, it was many years of difficult circumstances that brought me to my knees. Realizing that the life that has been set before me was different than what I wanted/dreamed of has opened the opportunity for growth in ways I never thought possible. A verse that guides me is Psalm 91:4: “He will cover you with wings, for under his wings, you’ll find refuge.” I love the idea that we transform into a beautiful butterfly (metaphorically) from a caterpillar by going into a cocoon and being opened to a new journey. Each day I am continuing on the journey. Blessings! 🙏🦋
That’s a good one! Yes. If you want to hear God laugh. Tell him your plans.
I had my dark night of the soul, I don't even like to talk about it. I had a terrible depression, I didn't sleep or eat anything, I would die like that!
One day I couldn't even drink water, I was desperate! That's where I had to get strength from where I thought I didn't have it and made a fundamental decision for my healing! I decided I wouldn't live like that anymore! I didn't accept that anymore in my life! I got attached to God and with a lot of faith I managed to get out of that sad situation. Today I am another person, I have a lot of appreciation for life! I'm very happy and I like to spread Love wherever I go! 🙌🏻❤️
Wow. Graham, thanks for the prompt in your newsletter that inspired the sharing of all these inspiring stories. Life certainly hands us all trials to navigate and lessons to learn and share. To all of you who have embraced those trials and kept going, may you know true appreciation for each day. I am blessed and inspired.
People are seeking connection.
Wow. Read through everyone stories. That in itself will put life into perspective. Gah 😩.
Mine was 7 years ago. I was 26 years old. I always was so proud that I could handle tons of pressure and stress. I was a full time college student and working full time as a Hair Stylist. And I was getting married.
2 weeks before my wedding I had my first panic attack. Actually I had a absolute mental breakdown. It’s hard to explain that to people. They think. Oh. You had some anxiety and then it was gone? No. It was awful. Some how I made it down the aisle.
For years I was a mess. My husband should have left. Lol. But he’s so nice. He stayed. 😌. I barely got through any day. I was a shell of myself. Went to doctors for years. Never took meds. All they said was I was depressed and anxious. Which was awful! An invisible disease?
2 years ago I quit my job. I quit school. I got outside. I gardened. I touched soil. I bathed in the sun. I learned to raise chickens. And I just let God Strip me down to nothing.
Not one panic attack since. Not one anxious moment.
I’m thankful for the experience as much as I went to hell and back.
What about you Graham? What was your moment?
I found your story enlightening. Unfortunately, I still suffer from depression & extreme anxiety at times. Unless you go through it, it really hard for people to understand. Like you said, the invisible disease. If they see you happy & doing well, they think 'she's OK now' or 'just get over it'. They don't understand that it's not that easy to overcome.
I'm so happy that you have been able to conquer your anxiety.
Christine. My heart goes out to you literally. I still to this day pray for people with anxiety and depression everyday. I wish I had some great advice. However it’s not a one size fits all. I’m a really stubborn go getter person. I really loved to control my life. I saw and talked with so many doctors during that 5 year period. Two things two separate people told me.
1.) everything helps. Healing generally isn’t a one size cure. It’s an accumulation of foundational steps.
2.) sit in a quiet room. Close your eyes. And ask. Why is this here? Ask the anxiety.
For me that was control. I’d always here. LET GO!!!!
For me. The cure was in letting go of the last thing I wanted to. My career. I worked my butt off to be a hairstylist. 1600 California hours with all those girls. I paid for it. I reached out and I grabbed it. And I was good at it. I was the best. Everyone wanted me to do their hair. But it was a toxic environment.
If you ever need to talk. Reach out. My email is tayloredgrowth@yahoo.com
Sending a prayer your way.
I understand you Christine as I still suffer as well. One day you are happy and the next you just can’t cope . You know you can reach out to me anytime,I’m here for you ❤️
Thanks Irene. You are a true friend. We can be there for each other. 🤗🙏💖
Christine you are so right I’ve always said I would’ t wish this on my worst enemy Ive had depression and my own family did understand it. I’m praying that you can get past your depression & anxiety one day soon🙏🏻
Thanks so much Lisa. It's a work in progress. I too wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. I also wish you all the very best. 🙏💖
Stephanie, I understand totally how panic attacks can destroy your life. I had my first panic attack at 25, while my 2 year old daughter I were in line at McDonald’s. It came out of nowhere and it was downhill from there. I was housebound for years. Every time I tried to leave my apartment, panic attacks forced me back home. Panic made me a prisoner in my own home. Unfortunately for me, it ended my marriage. I am better now, but occasionally panic sneaks in. Talking to Lynette Elinda has help me a lot. Looking back, I know it made me a stronger person. I’m happy to hear that you no longer have anxious moments.
Wow. I’m so sorry to hear that. Panic and anxiety is something that’s not talked about enough. I wished I could have found a support group for it. Like AA HAS. Shoot maybe I should start one. I needed to talk about it with people who got it. I know what you mean about being a prisoner of your home. That could have been me. It was at times. But I decided I was going to always do the opposite of what I felt like doing. I’d say. Nooope. This anxiety is out of control but this is my body. I will just panic as I grocery shop. I cried for 2 hours on a flight to New York. They should have kicked me off. I told the pilot and crew when I got on. I’m struggling with severe panic and anxiety. If you see me crying you know why. They were so great about it. As soon as I accepted that it was there but I was going to live my life anyway. That’s when it started to leave.
I’m sorry to hear of your divorce. We live in this broken world where people make vows and really just mean. For better. My husband was really inspiring. He was harsh at times. But also comforting. He saw how hard I was trying.
He’d say. Are you gonna be able to do this flight? Oh I’m freaking out inside. But I’m getting on that plane damnit. I’m gonna stomp around New York and see everything.
I will say. I don’t have kids. I don’t think we can have kids? Who knows. I can not imagine having to go through that with a child. Gah 😩
I feel your pain Stephanie after my husband died I was alone and it hit me anxiety depression panic attacks loneliness I was in constant stress mode from my job being alone trying to face another day and it went on for years until a couple of years ago I quite my job and started gardening as well so therapeutic started doing things I love and taking care of me and putting all my faith and trust in god I’m not going to say they completely went away but I’m doing must better and Graham has taught me how to breath❤️
Great job. I experienced similar. Have cycled thru " burn out" after " burnout". You communicated the "shell " state so well. Nature helps me as well. Glad for you. Keep going.
Thank you Sue! Burnout is the perfect word. I think we forget that we are animals. It’s essential to connect with nature. And God. Thanks for the encouragement. I thought I would panic during Covid. But I didn’t. Not once. I’d already been to hell and back. I wasn’t going there again.
My daughter suffers from severe anxiety and depression. She was a student at Bible Baptist college and I got the call no parent ever wants to hear….your daughter is in ICU because she attempted to take her own life. She had taken 300 Benadryl and left a suicide letter. Thankfully her roommate took quick action. I never knew my daughter was depressed. She put on a very good front…always smiling and laughing. I did notice some anxiety begin in high school but I thought it was just normal jitters. I am telling you this because depression and anxiety is a very real yet not taken seriously enough but from a mother let me say that there is nothing more heart wrenching than seeing your daughter hooked to a thousand tubes to save her life that she chose to take. I don’t know yours or anyone else’s family story but I spent most of my daughters life as a single mom, I met my husband when she was 14. My daughter and I are best friends….we always have been. Losing her would have taken a huge part of me. So please if you or anyone else ever gets to this point it’s not worth it. If my daughter would have succeeded I would have not only felt extreme pain forever but I also would have felt so much anger because I was super angry at her. I know that sounds mean and selfish but it was seriously a real emotion I felt because I gave her life when I was just a teenager and I fought SO hard to finish school, put myself through college and gave her an amazing life. We were best friends…we told each other everything…so I thought. But she had a painful secret of sexual abuse by an ex of mine that she never told me until she was in the mental hospital after she attempted to take her life. I failed her. I was supposed to protect her and I failed. Oh the pain of it all….for her. Today she is alive and doing well. If I go a day without getting a response from her I panic. It’s been 6 years but it feels like it was yesterday. I am actually crying writing this. Please get help if you fall into depression or anxiety. From a momma….get help!
Super inspiring. My daughter suffers with extreme anxiety. I will share your story with her as I worry about her a lot. It's amazing when God breaks you, huh?
Lynette! I’m originally from Goddard Kansas. Small word. Now I live in California. Yea it is amazing when God breaks you. I felt like Job from the Bible. I wasn’t as strong as him though. I was very angry with God. I had big plans for my life. He just had something else in mind for me. If your daughter needs someone to talk to my email is tayloredgrowth@yahoo.com
How is California as relation to your anxiety and walk with God? I know it’s really hard in those super liberal states.
A few things were pivotal points for me, the most difficult was losing a child at a young age. It was very painful, but through that experience I learned compassion and my faith was strengthened as I navigated the grief. It taught me to appreciate every moment as if it were my last. I try to remember to count my blessings every day.
Amen 🙏🏼 Thank you for sharing Cathey.
You are an amazing person Cathey, and I am glad to know you. ❤️
I am equally blessed to be your friend, Christine!
As I am with you. 🙏😊💖🇦🇺
A few years ago I came to realise that when I was 18 months old and in hospital for 3 months 100 miles from my family (70+ years ago parents couldn't stay) I shut down all of my emotions. Over the years I have lived my life on what would be a straight line with or peaks. I have been unable to grieve fir loved ones lost - father, sister (committed suicide, I watched the news report and they gave her name so that is how I found out ) mother grandson as well as others and situations in my life. I gave my life to the Lord in my 30's and although I love him as best I can and H has bought much change in my life Instill Struggle accepting that He loves me unconditionally. Recently batter being diagnosed with cancer I had a real peace about it and knew right from the start what to do. As far as the surgery went. That peace has stayed with me and I know that it is the peace of God which passes understanding. I must also say that Graham has also been a huge inspiration in my life.
Your story shows how God’s love can open our hearts to feel and embrace all that life brings our way. You inspire me all the time. I feel so blessed to be your friend and have your wisdom in my life.
I feel the same about you. You are always inspiring me every time we chat.
Such an inspiring story , thanks also so much for always been there for me and for all that you do my friend! 🙏❤️
As I read through everyone’s life challenges, I realize there is one common denominator that helped them through- God. When I was 12, I came home to find my 35 year old mother had collapsed and gone into a coma. While I was out sleigh riding, my mom had suffered from a massive brain aneurysm. There was a blinding snowstorm and the ambulance was having a hard time getting to our house. I knew with every second that passed, my mothers chance of survival was diminishing. After her surgery, the surgeon said her chances of living was slim and if she did pull through she would be in a vegetative state. I said the rosary over and over praying for my mom’s recovery. To make a long story short she made a full recovery and was written into the medical journal. The surgeon said it was a true miracle. Thank you Jesus for answering my prayers and giving me my mom back those many years ago.
God is our common denominator. Wow, well put. Love it!!!
Back in December 2020, the one year anniversary of my divorce and 6 months after I left a job I hated. I had the things I wanted: to be free from Chris and to be a stay at home Mom, but I wasn’t happy. I was sad and sinking towards depression because I still didn’t feel worthy. I decided if I didn’t feel worthy, I would make myself into the person I thought WAS worthy. And I’ve been working since. God has moved mountains and put me exactly where He wants me. It’s been an amazing journey!
Yeah Aimee! This is fantastic! Thanks for sharing🙌🏼
I lost my mum when I was 17 - I felt bereft and lost but couldnt grieve properly for many years - I had many addictions during that time until finally I had a nervous breakdown. It was the beginning of a journey of self discovery...many years ago now.....and just when I begin to think it''s almost done another wave hits!!! I realised last year that I'd spent most of my life caring for others....now I'm developing a healthy self love and finally facing my inner demon's.
Losing a parent is SO difficult. I have lost both of mine and struggle daily with that void. Hang in there! Prayers!
It was so calm...quietly peaceful....like that place I was in Iceland once where nothing could be heard at all. I was surrendering myself to whatever it was that was happening to me. I was halfway down that gray tunnel and I knew the light ahead was where I wanted to be. I was following four shadowy people holding hands in front of me. Yes. I wanted to follow but then there was a distant scream. What was that? Was that me? I was awake. The quiet was gone but I wasn't afraid. I was alive.
This was my pivot. My time to move forward. Maybe sometimes I would take a glance back to see those hard days, those sad days, those heartbreaking days once in awhile just to remind me that life is so amazingly better on this new path. How would I have known how beautiful if I hadn't traveled from the path behind me? When I was back there I had glimpses of beauty so I knew it existed. It just never seemed to hang around for very long. Life has a way of showing you the bad so you can really, really know when you've found the good.
Now I experience the day to day wonders of life through these same old eyes with brighter lenses. Joy is in the smallest of gestures, sights and sounds. It is the twinkle of my granddaughter's eye as she performs her dance or the subtle nod of appreciation from my tweeny grandson as I pull up my chair to the fence surrounding the baseball field.
I feel gratitude and appreciation for all that I have. I didn't go into the light when I had the chance because God wanted me to be light and love right here where my feet touch the ground. So that's what I'm going to do from now on.
This is so beautiful. Thank you for this gift you've shared.
Thank you Sue. I appreciate your kind words and for taking the time to read my story. I wish you many blessings for your life's journey.
I agree with those words … is up to you. I was once married for 14 years that was mentally abused and was told that I was nothing, would never amount to anything, never make anything of myself, fat and everything else you could think of. I do have two children that I wouldn’t give up anything from that but it took a lot to come back from after 20 years and therapy I had to finally say it is up to me to do something last year that I had to take my life back and do something to be able to move on and believe in myself again. I have been through a great deal Including my health issues but reading your stories have made me believe that I can live again and I am believing again and I know that God has plans for me. Thank you Graham. ❤️
It was 16 years ago when my husband of 33 years suddenly passed away. We had just returned from our 6 week summer vacation when he had a heart attack while sleeping and was gone. It took me about 2 years before I began to feel I was going to be ok. In those two years I had recurring dreams that he wasn’t really gone, that it was all a dream. Also felt at times that I didn’t want to go on with my life, then one of my kids would unexpectedly call as if someone was saying call your mom. Those calls helped me start appreciating life, cherish the many memories of our life together and look forward to making more memories with our kids. Now I start each day journaling 3 things I appreciate and end each day grateful for the blessings of the day. A couple of weeks ago, my 15 year old grandson reminded me in a conversation “ Grammie always look for the positive”. That made me even more appreciative of life and the many blessings that happen each day.
I seriously could not imagine! Much love to you!
To all you beautiful, wonderful ladies, I have read everyone of your stories tonight and I have been inspired by all . I APPLAUD each one of you. You all did such a great job overcoming the challenge presented to you. Hard work and perseverance brought success and happiness back to your lives. How wonderful is that?? All of your stories tonight made me realize and appreciate how blessed by God I am. My story could never compare. The most tragic event in my life was losing my Father when I was only 13yrs old and my sister was 12yr. My mother lost her husband and us young girls had to be there for her. We did not have a lot of money and we struggled for many years but we survived. I have been so inspired tonight and I pray that all of you continue on your journey to good health and I wish you the best of what life has to offer. As Graham always says "CHEERS" THANK YOU ALL FOR SHARING!!!!!!
I have a similar but different childhood. I was born an identical twin, however my twin did not survive childbirth. We believe that sent my already psychologically sick mother into deeper depths. When I was 5 my father picked me up for visitation and discovered bruises all over me and he was in the military so he had been gone for 6 months and it was obvious I was super malnourished. My dad filed charges and he gained full sole custody of me. My dad gave up his military career to take care of me. My dad was a ex-Marine and super unemotional. I grew up thinking crying made you weak. I had a strict and structured upbringing. My dad is amazing don’t take me wrong but I never grew up with a mother. She was in and out of psych wards. It has caused me to fear being abandoned and I had a hard time feeling “good enough” for a relationship with a man. I ended up having two kids unmarried and I literally purposefully caused the fathers to walk away. Then I met my husband of now 10 years. He was…a career military man and that gave me that structure and he was a military officer so he’s not “all emotional” either. That’s what I had to have was someone that was strong and not sensitive because I am very strong willed. He also is a devout Christian and brought me to the Lord. It’s amazing how childhood dysfunction doesn’t have to define you. Blessings to you and if your momma is still alive give her a great big hug and tell her thank you for all she did. I am in the airport right now flying back to Kansas from Kentucky (my home state) and it’s always so hard to leave the man that saved me from abuse and raised a little girl all by himself. 🥰❤️
Lynette, thanks for sharing your story. So emotional to read made me feel sad. I am so grateful that you survived all that abuse. How lucky you were to find a husband that is taking such good care of you now and helped you find your way back to the Lord, and I am sure that your children have been a blessing from God. I applaud your father for a job well done. I would love to give my Mom a big hug for you but she is gone now but she lived long enough to see me and my sister marry great husbands and give her some grandchildren . Ok so I am crying now , your story has touched my heart and brough back some memories.
I am so glad that I found Graham through Heartland . I think that this will be a nice platform for all of us to join in and share.Thank you Graham!!! I have never done a cameo so I have never had a chance to talk to Graham. Have communicated through IG messages a couple of times. I just love him without really knowing him he is so talented and inspiring. Love all his work.
Thanks again Lynette for sharing .Hope you had a safe triip home.
Life long friend and family conflicts revealed "caregiver" role in which I have hidden. Result, one- sided relationships and no true connection. This is gift of revelation. Now, moving forward. Looking forward to authentic, rewarding interactions and relationships. God is always my center. Time to be unafraid to share my authentic self w grace.