January Writer's Challenge - Week 2
Relationships
Week 2: Relationships
Welcome back!
Wow, it was so cool to read through all your poems and supportive messages in last week’s comment section. Great job everyone!
The key is to use these poems like prayers of gratitude for the specific areas of your life. Let your writing be inspired and focused on what you desire to experience and feel. Acknowledging where you’re at while directing yourself towards where you want to go.
My poem from the first week is now the wallpaper on my phone. This way whenever I need to use my phone, I’ll be reminded of my desired feelings and the direction I am focusing my energy. Wherever you choose to share your poems, I want to encourage you to feel the energy of them. Let them resonate with you deeper and deeper.
If you haven’t yet shared your poem and wish to do so, click this link below and add yours to the comment section of last week’s post!
Alright, let’s dive into Week 2 - Relationships!
This week I want you to focus on the most meaningful and fulfilling relationships that you want to cultivate. Even if you’ve had some difficulties or challenging relationships in the past, this is an opportunity for you to focus on creating higher quality relationships going forward.
First let’s take a moment and contemplate the relationship we have with ourselves.
It is in this relationship that we determine how we show up for every other one. If we cross our own boundaries then we allow others to cross them as well. If we speak negatively to ourselves then we can also entertain negative thoughts about others and their behaviours.
The opposite is also true.
If we allow ourselves the space to feel and process our emotions without judgement or impatience then we also are much more likely to extend that compassion to others. If we speak positively about ourselves when we are struggling or being challenged then we also tend to feel inspired to support others more through their journey.
So this week we are going to combine our vision of our relationship to ourselves with our relationships to others. My invitation is to first start with yourself and then connect it to others around you.
Walk & Talk
We all have different ways of cultivating a stronger relationship with ourselves. One of my favourite methods is taking myself for a walk and envisioning another version of myself walking beside me. Anything I’m struggling with or feeling uneasy about I externalize that issue onto this other version of me. I ask them to speak to me about how they are feeling. I listen and walk beside them like a friend. I’m not trying to solve their problems or dismiss them. I’m simply listening to them and sharing my compassion for their struggles. What works best for me is if I speak out loud to them and when they are speaking I am quiet and I feel their words.
Even if I don’t feel particularly upset about anything, a nice walk outside with a check-in helps to keep my relationship strong. Maybe there are dreams or aspirations that need to be heard or felt. Creating this space for myself to open up and express what is going on has become a great self directed relationship building exercise for me.
If you have difficulty with mobility at the moment or are unable to get outside for a walk, you can also do this exercise on paper. Simply write out a conversation between yourself and another version of yourself. I’ve done this many times when I wanted to work out my thoughts. The key here is to make sure you don’t try to quickly solve the issues, challenges or dilemmas. Use the conversation to ask questions and hold space for this part of you to express itself in the way it needs to be heard. Compassion and patience is the best approach. If an answer or insight emerges, great! If not, simply allow this other version of yourself to be heard and seen.
Journal Prompt: What do you feel?
Take yourself out for a walk. Imagine another version of you walking beside yourself. Speak to them as if they were actually there. Ask them out loud how they are feeling. Wait and listen for a response. Feel their words in your heart and mind. Take at least 15 minutes to speak with and listen to yourself.
I briefly shared this idea in my Winter Walk video on Substack Live. You can watch that by clicking here.
Paper Example:
If you cannot get outside to do this exercise, you can also do this on paper. Here is a quick example:
Graham: What’s going on?
G: Hey, good to hear from you again.
Graham: I wanted to check-in and see how you are doing?
G: I’m good. Tired. Looking forward to some rest and play soon.
Graham: Yeah?
G: I just want to play more without having to always think about work.
Graham: I hear you. I want to focus on that with you. Next time we are out having some fun and you catch me thinking or stressing about work can you give me a reminder?
G: Sure. What do you think would catch your attention?
Graham: The sun. I’ll use the sun as my reminder to stay present and let go of the future worries.
G: Oh, I love that!
If you’re going to do this exercise on paper then I would like to suggest you spend at least 15 minutes as well. Keep writing and keep asking questions. You’ll be surprised at what emerges when you give yourself the space to listen and feel.
Poem Exercise:
Now that you’ve taken the time to connect to yourself and be present with what is going on internally, you can now start building out the foundation of your poem.
Get comfortable and put on some of your favourite music. I personally like something like the song below to ground me and connect me deeper.
Start writing down the feelings and thoughts about where you want to show up for yourself more. How do you want to treat yourself? What does it feel like when you develop a stronger and healthier relationship with yourself?
Example:
I feel this thick and strong cord between us. A feeling of deep love and support. A friend that has my back and I have his. I love his authenticity and eagerness to celebrate life. I haven’t always been there for him but I now see how I can be a better friend. I know he wants me to be happy and I want the same for him. I listen to him and stand up for his dreams and aspirations. I honour his gifts and speak affirmations of encouragement to him regularly. I use the sun as a constant reminder of our bond and connection in the present moment. I love that he is so patient with me and forgiving. Shoulder to shoulder we stand for life and for love.
Fantastic. Now that you’ve taken the time to write this out, anchor this reality into yourself by feeling grateful for this strengthening of your relationship to yourself. Please take a moment to acknowledge this.
Almost ready to write!
Before we begin our writing process, it’s important we envision our connection to others with this new found depth within ourselves.
Close your eyes and imagine your new strength and gratitude spilling over to those you care about. Friends, family and loved ones. See them interacting with you. Feel them around you now. Envision these people having healthy relationships with themselves as well.
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